Do you ever feel that your spiritual tank is running on empty? ¬†That your life has spiraled out of control? That nothing has gone according to plan? When we allow our inner child to run our life, it’s an overwhelming emotionally disaster! ¬†It’s when you wake up feeling listless, with that nagging sense of being unfulfilled. ¬†It’s wondering if you’ve wasted that part of you that could have made the world a better place. ¬†It’s remembering¬†each and every time that someone or something has come between you and your goals and it’s wanting to find someone other than yourself to blame. ¬†It’s feeling as though, that no matter how hard that you’ve tried, that those efforts have been in vain and that you’ve achieved nothing of real value. That land of¬†emptiness is dark, angry, cold and so very lonely. Personally, I don’t like who I become when I go there (throwing myself into my work, becoming obsessively busy, then irritable because in the end, the empty void’s still there). ¬†Once we become adults, do we shift our¬†identity? ¬†Is there¬†a¬†separation,¬†from our inner child and who we are as adults? In reality aren’t we are our entire consciousness? ¬†When it comes to healing, is there space between distance and time? ¬†Deep down, are we all still that little boy or girl who just wants love, understanding, protection and security? ¬†At the end there’s a great meditation, if you would like to write a post, please contact me and congrats to Maria who won the tarot reading contest for this month.
Have you repressed and or abandoned your inner child?
Do negative patterns stop you from expressing your true divine nature? ¬†Do you regularly reject yourself, feel¬†inadequate,¬†undeserving¬†of love and do you experience those moments when you feel “empty” and alone inside? ¬†Each time that we choose to negatively judge ourselves, we’re abandoning our inner child. Having an inner abandoned child could manifest in a feeling of lack or a need of wanting but having no idea of what it is that would make you happy. ¬†Unhealthy coping mechanisms such as over-eating, eating disorders, chemical addictions, sexual addiction, and other self harming behaviors are all symptoms of not getting your needs met as a child.¬†Psychology¬†has determined that once we become adults, our inner child is responsible for our ability to experience self acceptance, joy, and an overall sense of well being.
Childhood is meant for learning through life experiences, it doesn’t matter how perfect that your parents were, getting through some of those lessons almost always involves some form of heart ache. It’s usually smaller incidences in which we felt deprived on some level that sets us up for negative thinking, belief and behavior patterns all throughout our lives.¬†Can you pinpoint situations in your adult life where you’ve overreacted due to an intense overwhelming negative emotional response? ¬†If your needs were neglected as a child, you could find yourself getting over the top¬†agitated¬†when you feel that you haven’t received the customer service that you paid for. ¬†If you grew up having too much responsibility, you might cater to others in your life before taking care of yourself, resenting it the entire time. ¬†If your parents were emotionally absent, there maybe times when you want to rip your hair out due to the hurtful frustrating sense that absolutely no one understands you or what you’re going through.
Resolving Childhood Wounds
As adults, it’s important to own our¬†responsibility for our own emotions, even the repressed ones that have a not so funny way of resurfacing when we least expect them. ¬†It’s also completely within our capability to heal ourselves. Successful relationships, as the one with yourself, takes hard work, forgiveness, compassion and patience. ¬†As adults, our behavioral patterns are a result of that strong foundation that was built in childhood, it takes extra resolve to discover the belief that leads to the behavior and to then challenge and change that belief.
An old belief is like an old shoe.¬† We so value its comfort that we fail to notice the hole in it.¬† ~Robert Brault
Make a timeline of your childhood experiences that felt negative
*If your childhood included sexual, physical or extreme emotional abuse, please seek professional counselling.
Start with your earliest memory of an incident that was emotionally painful and don’t stop until you get to age 18. ¬†Write down as many details that you can remember about the event, who, why, when, what and how. ¬†You may find it helpful to look at old pictures of yourself or to contact siblings and old friends to help jog your memories. If you find yourself getting emotional that’s excellent because it means that you’re getting in touch with your inner child and giving them the validation that they’ve been needing. ¬†This is the hard work that’s going to lead to personal growth and future¬†successes.
Next, write a timeline of your adult years to date. ¬†Include your accomplishments and also any situations, relationships and or goals that have, in some way, disappointed¬†you. ¬†Look at your role in the situations where you were disappointed, what behaviors stood in your way of success?
Look at both of the timelines and compare them. ¬†It’s likely that you’ll see similar incidences that have lead to a similar emotional reaction from you.
Identify the¬†beliefs that were falsely and unfairly created in your childhood. ¬†Write them down, and then, on a¬†separate¬†piece¬†of paper, write a letter apologizing to your inner child.
Create new authentic beliefs that will embrace and empower you as a whole person, write these down. ¬†What actions could you take that would back up your new belief system? ¬†This is essentially a deprogramming process and it will take time as well as¬†repetition and patience. ¬†As children we learned that when we heard something often enough, that we became to accept it, use that knowledge to your advantage! ¬†Throw out the timeline of your childhood wounds and let go of the past. ¬†Repeat your new beliefs¬†out-loud¬†as often as you can and¬†practice¬†new emotional responses! ¬†¬†New beliefs equal new opportunities and you won’t accomplish anything without first¬†believing¬†that you can.
It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. ¬†Muhammad Ali